After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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