I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
