I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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