How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
