theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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