so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
