He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it's great music for shaving your balls
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
