i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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