i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
