I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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