It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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