Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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