i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize