what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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