What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Moan for me like Helen Keller
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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