He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
