this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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