double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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