fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
