he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
