dude i'm inner monologue high
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
