Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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