Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
