Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
True strength comes from lack of pants
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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