i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
