you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I need to stop coming to work sober
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
