Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
