How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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