New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he quoted the bible to break up with me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
