It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
