R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
