Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
