So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
