i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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