just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Randomize
