I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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