There is no way he is gay with that hair.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize