you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
