Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
