worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
