Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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