Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
