Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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