Yo dont text me then not text me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
