No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
