garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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