That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
