Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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