yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
