Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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