did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
