I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
