you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
