bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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