woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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