dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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