"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
