I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
