Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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