I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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