you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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