No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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