the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
