lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
