So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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