It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
