I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize