I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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